The Championship column January 17 2008
Let us talk of Soft Spots.
Everyone's got at least one. "I'm a huge Wolves fan, but I've got a Soft Spot for Brighton."
I don't actually support any club (ever since Wimbledon moved to Milton Keynes), and therefore I have numerous Soft Spots.
Let me list a few: Charlton (I live there), Cambridge Utd (I lived there), Rochdale (I never lived there, but the pies in Spotland are indescribably good).
A visit to Kenilworth Road last weekend got me thinking about Soft Spots.
As I stood at the corner between the Main and the East Stands, admiring the mud and the faintly disturbing smell of sewage, I wondered why it is that Luton doesn't figure in many people's Soft Spot Top Ten. Except David Pleat's of course. But, then again, I've got a Soft Spot for David Pleat. So that balances out nicely.
The truth is this: (and please don't take offence, Luton fans - just celebrate your difference), I've never heard anyone say, "I wonder how Luton got on today. I've got a Soft Spot for them."
Of course, it's not just Luton. I'd argue you could put Middlesbrough, Millwall, Gillingham, Leeds, Bolton, Huddersfield and Northampton Town into the same category.
So that's seven more sets of fans I've just alienated.
Certain rules are attached to the selection and retention of Soft Spots. I believe these should be adhered to. They include:
1) No "Big 4" teams. You just can't. Don't.
2) No teams of similar status to the club which you support. My mate Sean supports Derby County, but has a Soft Spot for Nottingham Forest - not the only act of perversity in his puzzling life. But it's wrong.
3) No Following-the-Manager/Player. This is a Far East phenomenon, where you are allowed to be a "David Beckham Supporter", and therefore now have a huge Hard Spot for LA Galaxy, as well as a brief and Receding Spot for Preston North End. There is a member of staff at ITV Sport whose father is a Premier League Assistant Manager. From time to time he changes jobs, and his son's allegiances change too. I'm not having that...it doesn't count.
I also know someone who's mates with Neil Warnock. Same rules apply.
4) No Casting-Your-Net-Too-Wide. Another workmate likes at least 5 clubs with a passion. (No names, Peter Drury, but you know who you are). However, given that he is the Nicest Man in the World, I suspect he probably has a Soft Spot for MRSA and Robert Mugabe. So that invalidates his claims to Soft Spots.
5) No Sinister-Synergies. My mate Liam likes Rangers, and has a Soft Spot for Chelsea. Is it just me, or is that sinister?
6) No Foreign Trophy Hunting. A holiday in Switzerland does not entitle you to have a Soft Spot for Young Boys Berne. You need to provide at least one ticket stub. Although, when Dave the Barman from the Prince Of Denmark, and insane Burnley fan flew to Norway in 1995 to buy a Trelleborgs shirt because they'd just beaten Blackburn in the UEFA Cup, I had to accept he might have had a claim to a Bløt Flekk (Soft Spot).
7) No Mugs. My Irish grandma gave me a Celtic mug when I was 7. For the next 5 years I had a Soft Spot. Then I lost/broke/smashed it, and that was that.
Soft Spots are important. They act as a mild anaesthetic when the pain your own club inflicts on you becomes too acute....a little coda, a post-match flutter of excitement, like a cracker on Christmas day.
As I write this, Liverpool have just stuck in yet another goal against poor old Luton. I think of those long-suffering players, uncertain for their fates, unsure when they will next be paid, and I remember last weekend and the mud, and the slight smell of drains. And the fans still smiling.
I've got a Soft Spot for Luton.
Ned Boulting